Do you face constant judgment and criticism from others based on your exterior appearance, lifestyle, career choice, and relationships? I still certainly do. Especially when it comes to the healthy lifestyle that I have chosen to live.
Have you tried to create some sort of healthy change in your life, like doing yoga, becoming a dance instructor, becoming paleo or vegan, or meal prepping and clean eating, and received criticism from others close to you? Your family, friends, children, spouse, or colleagues?
It can make it really difficult to embrace a healthy lifestyle when those around you aren’t supportive. Especially when your spouse or children that don’t want to eat what you made for dinner. Or when going to a family BBQ and no one dares to try your “healthy” dish. Or what about when you don’t succumb to the pressure and partake in the office cupcakes at 3 PM. What about when you’re laughed at for exercising on vacation? I often hear women express how challenging it is to embrace a healthy lifestyle when their husband and children aren’t open to it (some women end up cooking two separate meals!)
It took time for me to realize that there are several reasons that people judge and criticize others, especially when it comes to them implementing healthy lifestyle changes:
They are often expressing their own insecurities and self-doubt
They don’t want to be forced to change or improve
Fear of you as competition
They feel threatened by you and feel like they look bad
They want to be an expert in the subject, and can’t respect the mutual difference of opinion
They want what you have but don’t want to put in the work for it
It’s tough because when I was overweight, had unhealthy habits, or had made certain career choices, I was being judged and yet, after all these years of improving myself and creating the best version of myself, I still face criticism and negative judgments.
It really stumps me that I often wonder this question. Why is that creating a healthy and positive lifestyle often receives negative perceptions and criticism from others? Our environment has conditioned us to think and believe that certain things, like eating donuts, is normal but eating a piece of kale is like hell on earth. Yet, hello universe, here I am sharing my purpose of trying to help other human beings stay out of the hospital from chronic disease, prevent obesity and excess weight, or stay active so they don’t need knee replacements but I get the look of puzzlement when I eat a salad for lunch, say “no thanks” to fried chicken, work out 6 days a week, meditate and do prayers each morning.
The next time someone takes a jab at you, remember, do not respond with negativity. Although it might be nice to whip out a sarcastic comeback, it’s better to respond with a positive and rational answer of why your choice is right for you (as long as it’s not criticizing or bashing the other individual’s choice). If it’s your family that is unsupportive and critical, then they should be cooking their own meals should they refuse to eat what you have cooked, or I suggest sitting down and talking with your spouse or children to address their concerns, and try to introduce them to delicious and healthy meals. If it’s the close friends that you choose to hang out with that can’t respect you or accept you, then those are not the people you should choose to surround yourself with.
Your co-worker says: “C’mon, you can eat one cupcake, it won’t kill you. You’re going to the gym afterward anyway.”
You respond: “No thank you, I don’t eat refined sugar.”
It’s as simple as that. If they have further questions, you can choose to inform them at a later time after the meal or dessert. Sure, you may look like the weirdo in every social situation. However, more often than not, people admire your healthy lifestyle choices and wish it for themselves. It’s not too soon afterward that you may see those same people come to you asking you questions about health so they can become informed and try new healthy habits.
It took time for me to accept that I’m always going to be the odd duckling in the room but I accept and love myself and am unapologetically myself. Thankfully, my parents and S/O are supportive of my lifestyle, and do take part in it. I’m glad that I no longer succumb to social pressure and criticism and have the strength to be my own person. I have created my own lifestyle and it’s something that I stick to, despite others disagreements. I eat salad for lunch every day, I drink red wine on Saturdays, I purposely avoid gluten and conventional dairy, I make healthy choices when I go out, I work out all the time because I love it. As a fitness and nutrition professional, whether another individual is vegan or paleo or keto, I respect each person’s choice that they’re doing what is right for them, as am I.
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